June 10, 2009
Letterman’s Wednesday night show where I think he was trying to apologize for his disgusting sexual “jokes” about Gov Palin’s daughter. He didn’t. He came close to saying he regretted saying them and then tried to weasel out of it saying he would never makes jokes about a 14 y/o. Problem being he did. His joke was directed at the daughter who was at the Yankee game with her mother who is 14 y/o. If he didn’t know that he should have just said it. He didn’t apologize for calling Gov Palin a slut – he kinda liked that joke. Hand transcribed.
Courtesy of Ripclawe
Here’s what Letterman said during the monologue:
Ladies and gentleman, I’m in so much trouble, because I’ll tell you why. The governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin is angry with me. Fuming. Angry. Seeing red and has called me pathetic. I admit I haven’t been called pathetic since the honeymoon. I won’t kid you I was feeling a little depressed when I heard the governor was mad at me and called me pathetic and to cheer myself up I went out and spent about $150k on clothes. I feel better now. I feel a little better. I was thinking about this, great, my luck I pissed off a hunter. [Acts like he's shooting a gun.] There he is! Get him!
After the commercial:
Speaking of stupid human tricks …I got myself into – I just stepped into traffic the other day – and by the way as this story unfolds – it’s gonna take some time so I hope you’re comfortable at home. Think about what’s happened here in the last couple of days. If you think you’d like to get yourself a talk show – (grins into the camera)
We were, as we often do, making jokes about people in the news and we made some jokes about Sarah Palin and her daughter — the 18 y/o girl – her name is Bristol. Now they’re upset with me. Let me read to you how upset they are. I didn’t realize this till today. And keep in mind, I can’t really defend these, they’re just jokes.
[No, but he could apologize, which he never does. He "probably regrets" it.]
And some jokes are fine and some jokes are not fine and of course we make some mistakes left and right. But listen to how upset these people are about the jokes. And when I say these “people” I mean Gov Palin and her husband, Todd.
This is on their website – I gotta get me one of them websites.
He reads the statements by Gov and Todd Palin.
This is Todd Palin’s:
Any ‘jokes’ about raping my 14-year-old are despicable. Alaskans know it, and I believe the rest of the world knows it, too.
After he reads Todd’s he makes a face and laughs.
Think about getting yourself a talk show. The next statement is from the governor herself – who by the way is an absolutely lovely woman. (Audience laughs.) I would love to have her on the show. I think we can put these differences behind us. The next comment comes from Gov Palin:
Concerning Letterman’s comments about my young daughter, and I doubt he would ever dare make such comments about anyone else’s daughter. Laughter incited by sexually perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity — I am hardly a celebrity. I’m 62, yes. – aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/NY entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands: That acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone’s daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others.
Well. I completely agree with that (Palin’s statement). I absolutely, completely agree with that. That’s not what I did.
(Audience laughs) Yes, Dave. You did exactly that.
Here now are the jokes they’re upset about. This very well could be my last show.
Yeah right. He won’t even get suspended or fined or receive any type of sanction. ABC won’t say anything either. Now if the comments were made about Michelle and Mala and Sasha – he would have been gone without debate.
I don’t know why we all find that amusing. Ok, here is the joke. It all happened because Sarah Palin was visiting New York City and she was in town with her daughter and her husband Todd — they were doing stuff and they were at a Yankee game.
“Sarah Palin was in New York this week – the hardest part of the trip was keeping Eliot Spitzer away from her daughter.”
(Some of the audience laughs – he smiles)
I’m surprised we haven’t heard from Eliot Spitzer either.
(Laughter and applause)
I’m not necessarily proud of these jokes. We do stuff all the time, and our objective here is to get a laugh, and thank God we don’t have to go to the Hague – to the world court to defend them. It’s a joke that’s all it’s supposed to be. That’s what this is. Here’s the other joke they’re upset about.
Sarah Palin went to a Yankees game yesterday there was one awkward moment during the 7th inning stretch when her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.
(Audience laughs) Aren’t there any women writers on his show?
I’m telling you – I recognize that these are ugly. These are actually ugly. These are borderline. But again, in an act of desperation to get cheap laughs, which is what I’ve been doing for the last 30 years.
Why didn’t we hear from Alex Rodriguez?
(Laughter and applause)
But now everything the governor and Todd said I absolutely agree with. These are not jokes made about her 14 y/o daughter. I would never, never make jokes about raping or having sex of any description with a 14-year-old girl. I mean, look at my record. It has never happened. I don’t think it’s funny. (Laughs) I would never think it was funny. I wouldn’t put it in a joke.
But you did Dave and you are too little of a man to admit it. How old is the lady you ‘knocked up’? Was she one of Eliot Spitzer’s rejects? And how were the jokes any better about an 18 y/o daughter of the former VP candidate? Imagine him saying these things about Biden’s daughter or granddaughter. Would he have been sanctioned?
Here’s were you draw the line. Yes, maybe these were questionable, because the girl who actually, excuse me, was knocked up is now 18 y/o. So the difference there is 14y/o and of legal age. Ok. I can’t really defend the joke. I agree. Unpleasant. Ugly. But I would never, never think it was funny to use a 14 y/o girl as a joke like this God sake.
Too late. He did. There is no way around it. And he is such a coward he can’t even admit to it. He takes up an entire segment and never apologizes but “probably regrets” it.
Now here’s the other joke they’re upset about.
Top 10 list #2 Bought makeup from Bloomingdales to update her “slutty flight attendant” look.
(Laughter and applause)
Now the only thing I can say about this is I kind of like that joke. (grins)
So summing up now and I’m gonna ask questions and then answer them.
Were the jokes in question in questionable taste?
Of course they were.
Do I regret having told them?
Well, I think probably I do. But you know what? There are thousands of jokes out there that I regret telling on this program.
Would I do anything to advocate or contribute to underage sexual abuse or misconduct?
Absolutely not. Not in a thousand years. Look at me! Do I look like I’m trying to make trouble? No NO! NO!
With that in mind, Governor Palin, if you’re watching, I would like you to consider coming to New York City – you and Todd as my guests – or leave Todd at home. They could be on the show – that would be exciting. So there. I hope I’ve cleared part of this up.
And then he smiles.
Am I guilty of poor taste?
Did I suggest that it was okay for her 14-year-old daughter to be having promiscuous sex?
Yes. Absolutely. He did. What were the comments about her daughter having an unprotected quickie between innings? Or even putting her name together with a pig who used prostitutes?
Next segment, stupid human tricks, while he is rubbing water on a grown man’s arm he says, “I wonder what the governor thinks about that”.
Kathy Griffin comes out and says “Sarah Palin is a moron” and that “her husband seems like a tool”.
Letterman: We don’t have a lot more tape and I’m done saying what I needed to say.
June 8 Letterman’s “jokes”
June 9 Gov Palin – John Ziegler radio interview
June 10 Ziegler has at Contessa Brewer
John Ziegler talks with Josh Gibson about Brewer
Gov Palin’s statement
David Letterman’s comment
David Letterman’s “apology” on show
June 11 Gov Palin’s response to Letterman’s non-apology
Concerned Women for America
National Organization of Women