November 25, 2009
Charles Barkley – entertaining as always – was on Jay Leno to plug Thanksgiving night basketball.
[Selective quotes - hand transcribed]
Barkley wants to get involved in ownership and the reporters are hassling him.
It’s funny, people talk about you like you’re dead, they’re like: ‘he’s not gonna want to work hard.’ Dude, I’m in the basketball Hall of Fame. Ain’t no lazy people in there.
Funny thing about it – it’s like reporters calling me lazy.
Reporters are the laziest people in the world.
They’re going to call me lazy...I’ve actually accomplished something in my life.
He’s decided not to run for governor because “politics have become a scumbag business”.
I don’t want to go to work every day and argue with anybody.
He thinks reporters are even scummier than politicians. He names Jay Marriotti and Skip Bayliss – “they’re just idiots” and they’re “always going to be negative” and “playing the bad cop”..
Reporters are worse than politicians…a lot of them are just scumbags.
He’s thinking about writing a book.
I’m loaded, Jay. I’m not worried about money.
Must have his gambling under control.
Then they talk about Sammy Sosa’s pigment changes. It’s more than just his skin. He looks like a woman.
JAY : What’s your take?
My take is like any other person if you saw one of your friends and they were a different color. You’d be like ‘Damn, dude, you’re a different color’.
JAY says it’s supposed to be a reaction to a cream Sosa but on his skin.
It’s a reaction to what?
I hope he wasn’t offended – but one of your friends just can’t be a different color and you’re like ‘It’s alright dude’.
They show a video clip from Barkley’s show getting a white face.
I’m like Sammy Sosa – I’m tired of getting stopped while driving while black.
I went for the night. I couldn’t watch BET. I couldn’t eat any chitlins and hamhocks – but I didn’t get stopped driving around.
Then Jay starts in on Barkley’s weight and Barkley’s a good sport.
JAY, laughing: You said you lost some weight.
I haven’t lost enough.
I went to get my yearly physical. And the doctor was yelling at me — told me I was really fat and out of shape.
I was so depressed, I had to go home and eat some ice cream.
You know when you get depressed you have to eat something sweet.
But it pissed me off.
But I’ve got to lose some weight. He said: “You’re too fat. You’re gonna have diabetes, stroke and hypertension.”
I’m like: ‘Dude, I know I’m fat – you can do it in a kinder and gentler way?’.
JAY: Can I ask how much you weigh?
No, you can’t.
He says he’s been doing the executive work out at the gym (sauna and whirlpool) and then says he has a gym at home:
That StairMaster is really good to hang your clothes on so they don’t get wrinkled.
I’m getting serious now, Jay.
Next time I see you I will have lost 50 pounds. I promise you.
They shook hands.
I’m gonna start working out next Monday. Really hard.
You can’t start a diet in the middle of the week – that’s just stupid.
He’ll be back in February for his weigh in.