January 20, 2010
Finally takes a jab at his Cocofans.
When he came out they cheered him – he responded with:
It’s really coming across as angry: ‘We’re gonna get you!”
Hi I’m Conan OBrien. Sorry I’m late. I had an interview with Lady Footlocker.
I should have known something was up when they sent me a calendar that only went up to January.
Ratings for our show are up 50%.
[Evidence that the cocofans are sheeple]
When NBC executives heard this, they told me: “See, you really don’t fit in around here.”
This whole experience has been surreal…I never thought I would be jealous of the run NBC gave “Joey”.
[You might think he is being serious about his employees but it's just another joke. Wonder if they found being made fun of besides losing their job funny.]
Before I agree to a final settlement with the network I want to be sure NBC takes care of my staff…
Staff would be taken to a farm where they would be able to run free forever.
[They just might be with 10% unemployment. And then he makes fun of his cocofans again.]
On Friday, Northwestern University will holding a ‘Conan O’Brien Day” where a group of students will gather on campus and do the “String Dance”…the football team will beat the crap out of them.
[Refers to child sexual assault dolls as a joke.]
I’ve been having a hard time explaining the whole situation to my kids because they’re both very young. So I had a doll made of myself – now I can show my kids exactly where NBC touched Daddy. It’s not a good place.
Makes a “joke” about Madonna’s uterus and the robots in the audience clap and Coco and Andy make fun of them:
COCO: APPLAUSE?!!
Andy: It’s about time!
And of course the bear comes out.
Imagine the adult fool who climbs into that suit. Imagine what he’ll tell his new employer – if he’s fortunate to find one. I used to work for Coco. You know the guy who shafted his employees. What did you do. I put on a bear suit and a diaper and masturbated in front of the audience.
Since the Tonight Show with COCO will most likely be wrapping up in the very near future...[he's gonna do bits that are] not so much funny as they are crazy expensive.
He said the bit cost 1.5M. A joke I hope.
And he had Adam Sandler on just for support and Sandler said they were paying his movie promo fee. And then went on to say: “NBC are c*nts”.
Coco thinks it’s funny to spend NBC’s money on ridiculous props, as if money is going to make his failure go away.
He doesn’t seem to realize it’s making him look even more desperate and bitter and classless. NBC spending money on crap that isn’t even funny will down the line translate into NBC employees losing their jobs and no new people being hired.
Way to go Coco!
And Coco?
How far would that money have gone in Haiti?
One wonders if he will ever take responsibility for extorting money to try (unsuccessfully) to feed his massive ego, for abandoning Andy, his other employees, and his fans – however sudden they are – and just quitting after showing himself to be an obnoxiously small man unable to admit that it was his astounding failure and his astounding failure alone that created the whole mess.
After watching, I can see why his show tanked: it’s not funny. He should have listened to those executives he’s been trashing and stopped relying on the usual gay, fat, toilet and sexist jokes and juvenile bits involving masturbating bears.
